Between the crocodiles, the politicians, a bunch of accidental asylum seekers and the smoke grenades, my novel, Major BS: A Top-Secret Mission, is seriously funny. Or funnily serious.
If you don't want to spend a cent, no worries. There are hundreds of free columns on this site, as well as a blog, for your amusement. Stay and explore.
But if you can spare a shekel for an old leper (though I'm no longer contagious, honest), I'll let you in on Major BS's secret.
The book is set in Australia but some of the main players are expats and the story is rooted in an orphanage in south London.
Follow some idiosyncratic characters trying to thrive in a world beset with its environmental and societal issues.
The most over-the-top of all is Major Jeremy Billycock-Smythe, who is a former British soldier, failed mercenary and bumbling adventure tour operator ("oh, do call me Major BS, old boy") who puts his business interests on hold in a bid to save his wife's historic Australian homestead Rowbottom.
Along the way, he is recruited to carry out a top-secret government mission.
Well, we can't give that away. Not to just anyone anyway.
Unfortunately, unless you have a top-level security clearance, it says on the back cover of the book you can't read what's inside. Though come to think of it, perhaps that is just satire. BS perhaps.
DISCLAIMER: This site has nothing at all to do with www.dunny.com.au so if you came here by accident, now's a good time to go there. I flog a shithouse novel. I imagine they flog novel shithouses.