Humor: Erasing eyebrows and departing hair

Erasing eyebrows and departing hair

Baldness is just a state of shine, but nobody ever says anything about the mental state caused by disappearing eyebrows.

Not that mine have gone. Yet.

But I AM worried - really, really worried - after a trip to my barber Luigi in Canberra last week.

For the first time in years, once he had finished giving me the short-back-and-sides haircut I had requested, he did not ask me if I wanted him to trim my bushy eyebrows.
He did not even comment on the state of them.
Nothing.
And I was too embarrassed/horrified to ask.

"Does that mean my eyebrows are going bald?" I asked my friend Orville later.

"No, I think you're just becoming paranoid," said Orville, staring at what I imagined was the less-luxurious-than-it-used-to-be growths above my eyes. "Don't worry, mate. He probably just forgot."

I suppose that is possible.

The day I chose to have my haircut was the day the Australian Socceroos beat England, 3-0, in London.

Luigi and his staff had set up a portable television in the barber shop so they could watch the end of the match when they started work at 8am.

"Did you see the game?" Luigi asked me excitedly when I came in about lunchtime and saw the TV set still sitting there.

Australia's victory was big news for the soccer-loving Luigi and his friends.

Australians are very used to beating England at all kinds of sports, though mostly cricket and tennis.

But not at soccer.

That is THEIR game and it might be a long time before we beat them again.

No wonder Luigi was clearly delighted and possibly a little distracted.

I imagine this is how Dutch artist Vincent Van Gogh lost his ear.

Everyone thinks he cut it off himself and sent it to a prostitute.

But my theory is that he chose the wrong day to go get his hair cut, his barber Henny was distracted while watching Holland beat England on his portable telly, and, oops, the cut-throat slipped.
(This might also be how Impressionist art was invented. Or Cubism, with all those out-of-place ears and noses, anyway.)

I guess I should not complain.

I am 44 and besides having both my ears I also have a good head of hair, albeit it cut quite short at the moment.

Things could be worse than having diminishing eyebrows.

My pubic hair could be falling out.

©February 19, 2003 John Martin. All Rights Reserved

NB: I called this site Dunno because I kept drawing a blank when I had to put a name to it