Humor: A glove letter to my homecoming wife, stuck to the fridge

A glove letter to my homecoming wife, stuck to the fridge

Welcome back Katherine,

Before you ask, I can explain why the fridge is now full of stubbies of beer when no doubt you half-expected it to be still full of all the healthy green things you left in it.

I know I promised to take good nutritional care of our six-year-old Jack while you were away this week. Once again.

But, well, something else came up that prevented this. Once again.

On the credit side, I did provide Jack with a varied diet for his main meals during your absence. We had takeaway pizza with pineapple and ham on Monday, takeaway pizza with tomato and onion on Tuesday, takeaway pizza with egg and ham on Wednesday and takeaway pizza with chicken and cheese on Thursday.

He seems to enjoy takeaway pizza which, I think, is a good thing. It expands his culinary experience and teaches him to be adaptable.

And I am sure you would agree that he learnt a nice lesson from what we did with all the healthy green stuff you left in the fridge for us.

We bunged it in a charity bin.

Gee, there was rather a lot of it, Katherine. Heavy too.
But we got it there by making two trips in the car, stacking it in the boot neatly and making good use of the roof rack.
I am glad now I insisted on all those extras, including the roof rack, when we bought the car.

I bet you are glad, too, that at Christmas, while we are stuffing our faces with turkey, ham, cake and mince pies, some folks less privileged than ourselves will be eating all that healthy green stuff. Another nice lesson for Jack.

Sorry I had to leave this rather impersonal note on the fridge, Katherine.
How was your conference?
It is good to have you home again.
I would have been here to greet you in person but I had to duck out to pick up another takeaway.

I was going to cook something special tonight but I ran out of time.

It has been suuuuuuch a busy week.

Sorry about the things in your vegetable garden shrivelling up. It has been very hot here and I did not have time to water much. Well, not at all actually.

On the plus side, I used my time productively to make a very nice stubby glove.

You don't know what a stubby glove is, do you Katherine?

Neither did I until I saw an advertisement on television during the second day of the Ashes cricket Test between Australia and England.

It is a glove you wear while you are drinking stubbies of beer. It is designed to keep them cold and probably your hand warm. I'd guess it is the greatest invention since the splade.

Stuffed if I know what the bought ones are made of though. I made ours out of your left slipper.
(Your right slipper is right where you left it, under the bed, if you need it.)

I had planned to watch the fourth day of the Test on Monday but, wouldn't you know it, England capitulated on Sunday and I had nothing better to do than have a crack at making the stubby glove thus saving us money.

Having mastered it though, I realised that a stubby glove is of absolutely no use unless you actually have a stubby.

Hence, the fridge load of stubbies.

It works out much, much cheaper to buy stubbies of beer in bulk.

It goes really nicely with pizza too.
Shame about the cricket ending early.

May the glove between us never die,
Your husband,
John

NB: I called this site Dunno because I kept drawing a blank when I had to put a name to it