Humor: Preparing for the second-coming of Bob

Preparing for the second-coming of Bob

I saw God today and spoke to Him.

At least, I thought He was God.

He had long hair and a beard, and was driving one of those little trucks that chuff around multi-storey car parks loading up shopping carts.
I thought He would be wearing a long white gown but He wasn't. He was wearing a navy blue tank top, which showed off His hairy shoulders, and His cap was on backwards but He really did look quite serene despite the fierce heat of the day.

"Hey, God. What are you doing here?" I asked him. "The world is on a knife-edge. Why aren't you out saving souls?"

"Bugger off, mate," he said with a heavy sigh as he loaded up another trolley with a clink and a clank. "Me name's BOB. Can't you see I'm busy."

Hmmm. Maybe I was wrong. God wouldn't talk like that, would he?

Nah. Surely not. Not the real God.

I learnt a long time ago that He plans on coming back to Earth sometime though.

But when?

If it is imminent, there might be a problem.

Australia is quite strict on outsiders coming in now. The Howard government is not taking any risks on letting terrorists or bludgers into the country.
I suspect that the Defence Department and ASIO are monitoring all virgin births closely.

God would have to line up with the other asylum-seekers which is going to pose a problem for him seeing as there's no Australian embassy up there in heaven.
My guess is that He will probably end up on the Pacific island of Nauru with the other so-called queue jumpers, trying to persuade Immigration that He is who he says he is.
"For the hundredth time, officer. My name is NOT Bob. It's God."

If God ever did qualify for residency here, I am sure He would find it a bit harder than the last time He was here.

He would not be allowed to wander around the countryside willy-nilly, collecting the dole and Matthew, Mark, Luke and John etc.

Oh no, He would have to start near the bottom - probably driving one of those little trucks that collect shopping trolleys - and work His way up into a position of influence. As a politician perhaps. Or head of the ACCC where he will be able to flush out false profits.

What a mess He will see in the world. Greed. Lies. Hate. Murder. Pretty much His pet hates.

I could not blame him if He decided the knot was too hard to untangle and opted to stay chuffing around a multi-storey car park, saving trolleys instead of souls, letting the hair on his shoulders grow long and telling people his name was actually Bob.

NB: I called this site Dunno because I kept drawing a blank when I had to put a name to it