By Australian writer John Martin
Now in ebook AND treebook
SYNOPSIS
Molly Rowbottom has a problem.
Molly is the latest in a long line to take charge of the family homestead near Canberra, once the home of affluent graziers. But although the locals still look up to her, she is cash poor and has had to lease part of the land to a wind-power farm just to make ends meet. That's not enough though and the bank threatens to take it all: her home along with her heritage.
Enter Major Jeremy Billycock-Smythe, a former mercenary, who has a much higher opinion of his own abilities than just about anyone else. He denigrates the homestead by calling it a mauseoleum, insists on calling Molly by the less common name of Millicent and covets the family knighthood she can never inherit because she's a daughter rather than a son.
"Don't worry, I have a plan," he tells her. "Have I ever let you down?"
WARNING: As it says on the back cover of this satirical novel, unless you have a top-level security clearance, you must not read on. So bugger off and, shhhhh, don't tell WikiLeaks.
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REVIEWS
John Martin's latest offering features the adventures—although misadventures is a more accurate description— of bumbling mercenary and former British army officer Major Jeremy Billycock-Smythe.
Marriage number seven sees the major ensconced in a large rural homestead on the far outskirts of Canberra where his new wife Molly is trying to preserve some remnant of her family’s grand past in the Australian grazing industry.
The major’s ‘‘decorated’’ army career seems to have ended under a cloud and his activities in the private sector have attracted a certain notoriety with the media.
Even the spooks in the Australian diplomatic service are taking an interest in his often bizarre activities, which include illegal immigrants and clandestine military operations.
Numerous interesting, odd and plain mad characters are involved as the major tries to save his career and his marriage.
— Examiner newspaper
Once again John Martin creates an improbable world filled with improbable, but memorable, characters. Some you love and love loving; some you hate and love hating. The protagonist you love hating so much you can't wait to see what he does next so you can hate him even more.
— Gem Bordages, Texas, US
READ THE FULL REVIEWS HERE
EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER 11
IN the gloom, Bax spotted a woollen thing among the rubble on the floor and stooped down to pick it up.
When he realised what it was, he dropped it like a hot potato. “It’s a sock! A dirty old sock. Why would there be a sock here?”
“Hmm? You sure it was a sock, not an old dag?" said Major BS. "You would expect an old shearing shed to have bits of wool scattered around the place.”
“It was a woollen sock, guv. With blue and red hoops. I can see fine now.”
Major BS shrugged.
“Guv, you never told me nuffin’ about this place before I came out," said Bax. "Why didn’t you warn me?”
“Need-to-know basis, sergeant.”
“Need to know? Need to bleedin’ know? You don’t you think I need to know how on earth we will be able to make this …. this … this… place liveable.”
“You surprise me, Bax. How long have we known each other? And have I ever let you down?”
