Humor - John Martin's 10 good reasons to wear his son's shoes

OTHER BRUSHES WITH PETS

A few words to God about
what went down
I remember having to bury a dead cat when I was 12.
I would not have minded terribly except he was not our cat.
We found him expired at our front-door and I swear I had never seen him around before.
've had some experiences with burying cats, but the last one was someone else's cat. MORE ...

How much is that scorpion in the window?
When I was a boy, pet shops used to be simple affairs.
They sold dogs.
They sold cats.
They sold budgies and canaries.
They sold goldfish.
Sometimes, but only sometimes, they also sold white mice, guinea pigs or rabbits.
They provided simple pets for simple needs in simple times.
Well, times have changed.
Have you been into your local pet shop recently? MORE ...

Letter on the fridge to my homecoming wife
Dear Katherine,
Welcome home. I have left you some cold, green soup in the fridge. Actually, it is the same soup you left for me when you left a week ago, though I suspect it is even greener and nicer now.
I hope you enjoyed your time away in New Zealand.
I am happy to report that in your absence I have managed to keep the house roughly in order, our four-year-old son Jack happy and our two-year-old cat, Vana, well. MORE ...

Vana's just gone on a summer holiday

I could have sworn that our family cat Vana died in my lap this morning. I called the vet to come and end her suffering and she euthanased her in our lounge room.
It was only after the vet left that I focused on the invoice she left. It said "Patient departure".
Hmm, that sounds quite nice. I wonder where Vana actually went to?
I could have sworn I buried her in the backyard right where she used to lie to soak up the sun.
But "patient departure" could well mean she's been given a clean bill of health from the lymphona that wracked her little body.
Perhaps she's even gone away on a nice holiday for summer.
I am a bit dirty on her for that. Who's going to catch her quota of mice now? Probably me, being the man of the house.
It hasn't been one of my most memorable days. When I rang Vana's regular vet, I was told he was on holidays and I'd have to wait a couple of weeks for him to return if I wanted a vet to visit our home to euthanise her. The receptionist was very nice about it though. He even ended the phone call by saving: "Have a nice day."
I don't know what we did before the customer-service robots were programmed to repeat that mantra to customers or, in my my case, a non-customer.
Thank goodness there is another vet surgery close to home, which came to the rescue to put an animal out of her pain. Or is it a front for a compassionate animal travel agency?

October 21, 2006
©John Martin. All Rights Reserved

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NB: I called this site Dunno because I kept drawing a blank when I had to put a name to it

I could have sworn that our family cat Vana died in my lap this morning. I called the vet to come and end her suffering and she euthanased her in our lounge room.

It was only after the vet left that I focused on the invoice she left. It said "Patient departure".

Hmm, that sounds quite nice. I wonder where Vana actually went to?

I could have sworn I buried her in the backyard right where she used to lie to soak up the sun.

But "patient departure" could well mean she's been given a clean bill of health from the lymphona that wracked her little body.

Perhaps she's even gone away on a nice holiday for summer.

I am a bit dirty on her for that. Who's going to catch her quota of mice now? Probably me, being the man of the house.

I don't know what we did before the customer-service robots were programmed to repeat that mantra to customers or, in my my case, a non-customer.

Thank goodness there is another vet surgery close to home, which came to the rescue to put an animal out of her pain. Or is it a front for a compassionate animal travel agency?

WANT TO READ MORE '10 THINGS'? CHECK OUT THE ARCHIVE BY CLICKING HERE